Dress smoothed out.
Hair done up.
Smile plastered on.
I put one foot in front of the other, looking straight out into the big new world that I am about to enter; so eager to start my new life, set new goals, make new friends, and meet new expectations. This time is going to be different: I have shed my awkward girl skin and have rose a confident butterfly from that Jersey cocoon I have called home for the past 17 years of my life. I take my first step...
AND of course fall down the stairs, landing butt up, showing my pink polka dot underwear to the sky as a big group of MFA theatre majors walk past me.
Welcome to College.
Or should I say, welcome to Hayley Michelle Trachtenberg's experiences of college.
Let me start from the beginning:
My name is Hayley Michelle Trachtenberg.
And I am a klutzaphobic.
Klutzaphobia- (noun). To be Hayley Michelle Trachtenberg. To be klutzaphobic. To always be tripping, falling, slipping and or hurting oneself just by being alive. Accident prone: life-prone. See also: "putz", "stumblebum", and "lummox".
I've been living with klutzaphobia for 17 years: my entire life (tragic, really). But no doubt, I refuse to let the fact that I am no Grace Kelly hinder my growth as a person and as a playwright.
I am a lowly freshmen.
Which sucks, because just a few weeks ago I was a highschool senior: which was awesome. Top of the food chain. Queen of the jungle. Leader of the pack.
.......
Okay, that's a lie. I was not any of those things.... I was middle-ish of the pack. Jester of the jungle, And comedic side-kick of the pack.
Still, my highschool experiences were those that I shall treasure forever. (Shout out to MCVTS: School of Arts!)
But now, I'm faced with the uncertainty of what college shall bring.
I just went from social pent house to social basement.
My mom told me that college is where you go to re-invent yourself.
She also told me that college is where nerds go to have sex, and then tried to hand me condoms under the table as we ate burritos at Casa Nueva.
But I don't think I'll be doing either of those things.
It's taken me a while to accept who I am: goofy, but lovable, bitchy but ball-busting funny: me.
I'm not going to change that.
Besides, if my life all of a sudden stopped being pathetically funny, you wouldn't be reading my blog, now would you?
So this blog will be dedicated to my epic failures, my grandiose trips down the physical and social ladders, and my under-dog like determination to succeed at having an amazing college experience.
Til next time.
Sincerely,
Hayley Michelle Trachtenberg
